“When Pharaoh let the people go, God did not lead them along the road to the land of the Philistines, even though it was nearby; for God said, ‘The people will change their minds and return to Egypt if they face war.’ So He led the people around toward the Red Sea along the road of the wilderness. And the Israelites left the land of Egypt in battle formation” (Exodus 13:17-18).
When God calls us into a new season of life – a new ministry, a new adventure, a new land to conquer – we have certain expectations. I see it in my call as I first started in full-time, on-the-field, support-based ministry. I left my home in January of 2012 ready to conquer (something). I felt prepared, I felt strong, I felt victorious. I was expecting a battle and, as best as I knew how, I left home in “battle formation.”
But the Lord of the Harvest sees the battles on a much larger scale than I did. As prepared as I felt for battle, I was not expecting what I faced: Wilderness.
When I first went to the field full-time,
I expected to fight the enemy…
…I didn’t expect to be faced with the enemy’s lies in my own heart.
I expected to rely on the Lord’s strength for the fight…
…I didn’t expect to see how much I needed that strength on a daily basis.
I expected to have challenging discussions with non-Believers in Arabic…
…I didn’t expect to deeply feel the lack of encouraging, faith-filled conversations in Arabic.
As I evaluate the scope of past three years of ministry, I am grateful that they have not been unfruitful, discouraging, or lonely. I do see a parallel to the Israelites, though, who left Egypt with a certain expectation: that God was going to quickly bring them into the Promised Land. Sure, there would be battles, but they could handle that. God knew the reality, though: We’ll never trust him for victory in the fiercest battles until we trust Him for provision in the wilderness.
The last month of life and study, my eyes have been opened to the spiritual realities around me. I have seen the intensity of what we’re fighting, and can say with more confidence than ever that “our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the world powers of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavens” (Ephesians 6:12).
I see that God, as He opens my eyes to the battle, is leading me out of the wilderness and into the Promised Land – and there are battles at every city gate. I’ve learned that just as He provides in the wilderness, He “prepare[s] a table for me in the presence of my enemies” (Psalm 23:5). Just as He increases my endurance in the wilderness, “He trains my hands for battle” (18:34).
Had I seen the intensity of the spiritual battle in my first few months on the field, I may have changed my mind and “returned to Egypt.” I’m glad that God saw beyond my vision. Whether we are in the desert or on the battlefield, may we learn to trust the One who sees all.
You have been given such insight! You are an encouragement to me. May God continue to reveal His plan as you move forward!
You have been in my prayers OFTEN!! Throughout each day I think of you and sometimes it is enough just to breathe your name along with “God, be her lack. ” Whatever it is that you lack for each specific day, I pray He will be exactly that. Our Wednesday group prays for you , too.
With love and prayers, Merilee
Amen to that. If we can only remember daily, hourly to trust Him who sees and knows all!
I read in Amy Carmichael’s devotional “I Come Quietly to Meet You” this morning: ” It is the littlest things of life, the minute, unimportant-looking things, that are most likely to shatter our peace. Because they are so small, it is most likely that we will fight them ourselves instead of looking up at once to our Strong God–our Barrier between us and them…. See Ps. 35:1,3.
As you said, our battle is not against flesh and blood. Let’s remember to depend on Him, even to fight the little things that we think we should be able to handle ourselves. Preachingtomyself!