It was midnight. I was on a red-eye flight from Bogota to Miami, and by the middle of the night I was having a hard time falling asleep with a dry throat. “Me regalas un vasito de agua?” I rehearsed in my mind how I would ask the flight attendant for a glass of water. I thought of what a Colombian’s response would be: “Con mucho gusto!”
Then I remembered: I was on a Delta flight, not Colombia-base Avianca. Most of the attendants spoke Spanish as a second language and part of their job, but they weren’t native speakers. I realized it would probably be more appropriate for me to ask in English, but somehow my shyness in English overcame me.
I realized in that moment that I had two identities. My English identity with strangers is quiet, non-imposing – almost shy, at least until I start talking. My Spanish identity, on the other hand, was developed near Colombian’s Caribbean – a place where no one is a stranger and greetings on the street are considered the norm. In Spanish, I would have no problem asking the flight attendant for some water, and I would trust that her response would be the typical response I had come to expect from Colombians: “Of course, I’d be glad to give you some water!”
After almost two weeks in the US without speaking any Spanish, I struck up a conversation with a man who’d worked for several years in Colombia. Even though he wasn’t a native speaker, it was such a joy to live and communicate in my Spanish identity even in a short conversation.
I see now that leaving my Spanish identity means leaving part of my heart. But, I also realize that learning Arabic means opening my heart to another life that I have never experienced – and I will develop an identity there, too. Language learning is such a joy!
For my friends who speak more than one language: What have you noticed about your differing identities in other languages?