Path of Discipleship

I recently had an encounter with someone that has shaken me on the inside. She spent the majority of her life as a nominative follower of Islam – until, through a series of dreams, she met Jesus. Before I found out she was a believer my heart knew that something was unique about her. It was exciting to hear her share, yet sobering to know that my commitment to not expose her identity is important to her honor – and possibly her life. Our conversation has left me thinking about my own path of commitment and discipleship.

Jesus paid it all – so that I could receive freely. Freely have I received… now I freely give (Mt. 10:8). There is a price, but the price I pay isn’t for my eternal salvation. How could it be when “He who did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up for us all – how will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things?” (Rom. 8:32). I recognize that my salvation “is not of [myself], it is a gift from God” (Eph. 2:10), and that “The free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Rom. 6:23).

Yet, there’s a cost that I’m just beginning to understand. Jesus talked a lot about it.

“If anyone wants to be my disciple, he must take up his cross and follow me” (Luke 9:23).

“If anyone comes to me and he does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters – yes, even his own life – such a person cannot be my disciple” (Luke 14:26)

“Unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains by itself. But if it dies, it produces a large crop” (John 12:24).

The free gift is thrilling – both to experience and to witness. It’s new creation, it’s life, it’s eternity, it’s worship. Yet for many, the earthly consequences of accepting this gift are sobering. My friend received the free gift of life and freedom, and it’s bearing visible fruit in her life. But the cost of her family knowing is high. What can I say? Could I demand that she tells her family at the cost of her relationship with them – and possibly threats to her life? What price have I paid to be a disciple? Have I given up my family? Have I experienced “death” to this extent, that I can ask it of others?

I can’t deny that this secret believer has received God’s gift of grace. So have I – despite the fact that I haven’t lived up to Jesus’ call to discipleship. My response to His call has been something like…

“Yes, Jesus, I receive your free gift of salvation. I want to be Your disciple. Just, please don’t ask me to talk to my neighbor about You.”

“I want to be Your disciple, just please don’t ask me to get up earlier to pray.”

“I want to be Your disciple, just don’t ask me to do what makes me feel uncomfortable.”

“I want to be Your disciple, but please don’t ask me to give up my reputation or peoples’ approval.”

My commitment to discipleship is so often conditional.

My prayer for the believer I met is that she will embrace the discipleship that Jesus calls her to – no matter the cost. That’s my prayer for me, too. What will it take for me to die so that I can bear fruit?

Jesus, teach me what it means to be Your disciple – today. May I never cavalierly embrace Your gift of salvation without also embracing Your call to follow You closely. I believe that You are worth it.