I have no problem admitting my fears. I’m afraid of driving on icy roads. I’m afraid of falling from high places. I’m even a little afraid of snakes and spiders. And if that’s all the deeper I dig, that’s about all I come up with on my list of fears. I must be brave.
Sure, I must be brave. How many people have told me that in the last couple of years? First living in Colombia, then in the Middle East. Then traveling to countries most consider dangerous. “Aren’t you afraid?” people have asked me.
I’ve contemplated fear a lot the past couple of weeks. The closer I get to this unique experience that lies before me (click here to read about it), the more something stirs in me, and, to be perfectly honest, it doesn’t line up with that same confidence I generally portray.
I have no reason to fear physical harm because, frankly, I have never experienced physical harm. I am naïve. It is not a fear I have to fight. But as I probe deeper into my own heart, I see other fears that aren’t so easy to admit. These are the fears that are trying to settle into my heart as I set out on a two-week venture in such a new environment.
I’m afraid to have my faith shaken to its core by the testimony of believers who have suffered.
I’m afraid to have my heart broken with my brothers and sisters as they share their stories.
I’m afraid of how the Spirit might call me to respond to these stories.
I’m afraid to be held accountable for the lessons I will learn.
I’m afraid to have the shallowness of my trust exposed.
I’m afraid that my fears will come to the surface.
I’m really not brave and bold like I look when I stand in front of the church on a Sunday morning or when I send pictures of myself with veiled friends. My heart, in fact, trembles when I think of what God might call me to next, and when I think of how little I still trust His goodness.
“The apostles said to the Lord, ‘Increase our faith!’” (Luke 17:5).
Even though I cannot possibly imagine the places you are or will be, nor that which you face, one thing I am certain of and that is, God’s abundant love, grace, purpose, strength, kindness, compassion and his will for your life will be fulfilled, though is it may seem impossible, or you may not see the immediate result, it will be done, and you my dear will be stronger in the Lord than ever before, your faith will not be hampered. My prayers are with you, and I pray in agreement with you for all these things and I believe God is greater than any thing we might fear, even if it’s our own doubt about our faith, or the mission we have begun to journey or anything else, He is with you, He will uphold you, He will carry you, lead you and fill you with all that He is. Karan
I believe most all humans share your fears and most have more.
Your faith has traveled you to places where most would rather not go and you found friends in all those places. God be with you and Bless you as you go on.
Love from Don
well said, there is always more if we are willing to dig deeper in our hearts. I will be praying and I hope you are totally recovered from your stomach bug. Love you!
I am soo in agreement with your fears. However, you are a brave soldier for Jesus Christ. I could never do the job you are doing. God Bless you for your faithfulness.
thank you for sharing your thoughts about fear. I have been dealing with fears too! God says “fear not “many times in His word ! Praying!!
Wow, I appreciate your transparency! Thank you for voicing fears I also have. God is our strength and a very present help! Love you.